Advocacy Stories: Story 2

Jane and Ian

I wanted to become a Citizen Advocate in an attempt to 'make a difference' in a society full of inequalities. Advocacy seemed to be exactly what I was looking for, the chance to work with one individual and be able to have a positive impact on their life.

I met my Ian for the first time amidst the chaos of his house, and could tell immediately that this was someone who was larger than life in many respects! It was hard for me to get a word in edgeways as he chatted away non-stop, the half an hour or so I was with him.

As I got to know Ian, and he got to know me, a relationship began to develop and I became a person in his life who would regularly be there for him, come rain or shine. Our time together was completely shaped by Ian's wishes, as he had too many other people in his life who did his thinking for him. We would go out for walks, go to the shops, go to the local pubs for a drink or two, or just stay in his room and watch the Alexander Brothers video! Ian would love to sing along to music, especially Scottish music, and my knowledge of that type of music has greatly improved as a result, although not perhaps my singing ability!

It takes time to form the type of relationship you need to advocate for a person, but it is an enjoyable and very much worthwhile journey. As Ian could not always verbalise to me what was on his mind, or what he wanted for the future, by spending time with him and being aware of his surroundings, I tried to understand what was important in his life and what made him happy.

Through the many meetings I attended on Ian's behalf, the letters I wrote and the phone calls I made, I constantly had Ian in my minds eye. I never once stopped questioning myself about what I was doing for him, which I am sure is a natural response for many Citizen Advocates. What kept me on the right track though was the overriding belief that Ian deserved a much better quality of life and desperately needed the opportunity to decide for himself how he was to live his life. It is simply appalling that if a person has a learning disability society immediately deems that they are incapable of having any control over themselves or their life.

Ian was a very proud man and he must have found it extremely frustrating living in an environment which labelled him a 'vulnerable' adult. If only he could have been given the chance to demonstrate to people what he was really made of and dictate the shape of his life himself. It would have been amazing to witness.

Unfortunately Ian never got his chance as he very sadly passed away at the end of June 2003. It came as a complete shock to everyone who knew him, and I cannot see how anyone could forget such a special man who could touch your heart the way he did. I certainly will not.

I may not have achieved for Ian what he ultimately deserved - to be able to enjoy a good quality of life of his own choosing - but hopefully I made some small difference to his life for the two years I knew him. I would describe the relationship we had as consistent, caring and rewarding for both of us, and in a world where most people are paid to be there for you, I hope that Ian considered it a valuable part of his life.

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